1:00 AM takes on new meaning as a parent.
I’ve seen the clock click over the wee morning hours many times before and since children. It still looks the same, yet feels different. Before kids one in the morning was still early in the evening. 1:00 am was the hour I was usually up doing my homework or whatever project was due for my college classes the next day. Procrastinate should have been my middle name. 10 page paper due in 2 months… bam, done the morning of the due date. It was my style and it worked for me.
Everything changed as a parent. Even how I spend my time. 1:00 in the morning is no longer my time to catch up on things that need done. It’s no longer a viable option of a time to sleep either. No, now it’s the time I am sitting wondering WHEN IS THIS CHILD GOING TO GO TO SLEEP. Now it is the time when I envy all those wasted precious hours I could have been enjoying sweet slumber instead of doing work.
I don’t know why she feels so passionately about not going to sleep. She just doesn’t feel the need for sleep. Her sister was like that at her age as well as still is. I supposed I have been that way my entire life as well… That is till now. Now I beg for moments of time when I can shut my eyes and claim I am only resting them. I guess it’s just the way we are built.
We do have the all powerful routine set into place. I have read the required 15 or so books. She has been bathed… and yes there was bubbles. Midnight snack was an hour ago. Lights out was at eight thirty. There was no nap earlier in the day except that little one I caught myself while hiding out in the bathroom when their daddy got home from work. Yet here we sit, night after night reevaluating what one in the morning means to me. Those wee morning hours are now the time when I contemplate my reasons for joining the ranks of the zombie sleep deprived parents. It’s now the time when I think about visiting Walmart looking for the latest sleep aid someone has suggested… Than I realize Walmart would require real pants and go back to back pats and pleading as a means to soothe the cranky over tired child who believes sleep is akin to the devil.
People often say “I should do this” or “I should try that” because I’m just not the super mom it takes to get my children in to a sleep routine. But they have never sat up for the third night straight trying to convince a three year old that she will not miss any Youtube action and it will all still be there in the morning, the actual morning, the one with sunshine. Nor have they had to listen to a small child hum or sing the alphabet in the dark over and over and over… There are things worse than Youtube at one in the morning and I have heard them.
I love my children more than life or even sleep but I’m seriously thinking of learning the Vulcan nerve pinch.