It could be the sweet smile she has on her face as she sings a happy tune about death… or the dead on evil villain laugh I get at two in the morning as I plead with her to go to sleep. It may be the way she smacks me in the face without regret to get my attention. Or how anything that comes into her hand that can be thrown is tossed while being aimed at my head. Maybe it’s the way her tiny feet jab into the back of my car seat even after I bring out the mommy voice and ask her to cease. Possibly it is the passive aggressive action of needing to go to the bathroom and threatening to use the floor unless I alone take her at precisely the time I finally sit down to eat dinner….. For whatever reason I might cite, I am beginning to wonder if threenagers are really super villains in training.
My sweet little girl would rival the Joker in trolling me. She would confound the Riddler in some of the things she says. All while having the agility of Catwoman yet lacking the ability to land on her feet.
Right now would be the time I could say something cheesy about her stealing my heart but to be honest, I had three hours of sleep last night and I am not in a cheesy mood. We all know I love her unconditionally. Even if she set about building a Domesday device, she would still be my little princess. Okay I take it back, I can still be cheesy on three hours of sleep maybe even cheesier. I wonder if my amount of cheesiness correlates with the amount of sleep I have had.
I think the worst part is the innocent looking face on that sweet small package. You would look at her and never realize that what your really dealing with is the equivalent of the number one of some fictional comic’s most wanted list. You would never assume that the sweet little tot with the messy hair could ever be guilty of screaming at the top of her lungs the entire car ride home because her cup was blue and not pink. You would be wrong and pay dearly for your error because her lungs may be half the size of yours but they are twice as strong and Walmart was all sold out of pink cups.
It doesn’t really matter if she happens to be a super villain… She can easily be subdued with the promise of a cookie or I can always keep her mastermind plans in check by breaking her cheese sandwich in half therefore crushing her will. The cheese sandwich must be whole or her world shatters as she melts to the floor in tears. Oh, what a world! What a world!
I just wish I could tame her wild hair as easy.