Dear First Time Mom,
Dear first time mom I see standing in the aisle at Babys R Us debating what bottle is not going to cause the dreaded nipple confusion. I’ve been there. I have worn down the wax on the tiled floor, picking up each box and examining which one looks the most natural. I know what you are going through. Questions flowing through your mind about breast pump connectors, are they easily cleaned, will I have to take a mortgage out on my home just to buy enough to make it through this first year? I wish I could tell you without becoming that crazy lady you laugh about with your friends, it will be ok. At 2 in the morning, it won’t matter which bottle you pick just that your baby is fed. After a month of 2 hour a night naps and connecting yourself to the torture device known as a breast pump as needed, you will not really care if you go with the big wide bottles or the tall skinny bottles. All that matters is that your baby is fed and I promise you that making the “wrong” decision on what brand of bottle will not cause later psychological damage to your child…
I was once like you, nervous, worried about every decision. I know you, I was you. You want what is best, you have read all the advice online and have been given conflicting opinions from everyone around you. You have been scolded by those perfect moms in your life that have to point out that what they did is how it should be done. Your decisions questioned by everyone. You want to get this motherhood thing right. Let me say that having a baby is not about raising a baby, it’s about raising a person. The baby stage doesn’t last long. They don’t need as much as television commercials lead you to believe. The perfect moms around you are probably not as perfect as you think.
You love your child dearly, I can tell. Go with those motherly instincts. Feed, Love, and keep them safe. Your child will be fine. Co sleep or not. Breast feed or bottle feed. Baby wear or baby carrier. Nuks or Dr. Browns. Pacifier or Not. Make the choices that work for you because YOU are the mother. The latest popular decision may not be what works for you or your family and it doesn’t matter what other people think. As long as your baby and you are happy. As long as that baby is getting the love, attention, and their basic needs met. YOUR BABY WILL BE FINE. That first year goes by way too fast to spend even one second worrying that you are hurting your baby’s future chances of success because you picked the wrong baby carrier or didn’t put them in organic clothing.
The mommy wars have gotten out of control. Somewhere along the line us seasoned mothers all around you have decided that we know what is best for your child and we have to save them from your incompetence. Don’t listen to us. You are not incompetent, you are stronger than your realize. Don’t spend more time Googling baby advice than spending time with your baby. You will have plenty of time to Google odd child behavior or toddler activity ideas later. For now, just enjoy that sweet precious bundle of infant because in a blink they will have grown and you will be wondering how one child can cause so much chaos.
Some parting advice… Develop a thick skin and ignore the perfect mothers. Listen to your instincts and your baby’s doctor. Give the baby lots of love. Feed the baby. Keep the baby clean and safe. Your child will be fine. You are doing a good job. You are a good mother. And finally keep in mind, picking which infant products to use will most likely not be the reason your child will or will not win any future presidential elections.
Crazy aisle stalker lady signing off.