I’m fairly sure Walmart is hoping we don’t come back for awhile…. Since Lou just threw up all over the seasonal aisle and me.
10 Things about shopping trips that have changed since becoming a mom.
Before I was a mom:
1.Walmart trips were quick, easy, and didn’t involve any form of bodily fluids.
2.Walmart was the place that sold decently priced groceries and adequate craft supplies.
3. Walmart was a once or twice a month stop.
4. I actually had felt like staying awake after leaving a store and maybe even going to other stores.
5. Stores were magical place that were full of things I could look at and possibly buy and bring home for myself.
6. The clerks were always pleasant enough and promptly forgot all about me.
7. Buggies were only used to carry products that were about the be purchased.
8. I would look at other people with screaming kids in pity and shock that they let their kids act like that.
9. I could get out of the store with NO junkfood and knew everything that was put into the buggy.
10. I liked going shopping.
After becoming a mom:
1. Walmart trips will take an hour, will feel like a workout, and will involve someone else’s poop, pee, vomit, spit, or snot, Possibly all of thee above.
2. Walmart is now the place that sells toys…. Other stuff too but mainly toys.
3. Walmart is now a once or twice a week stop sometimes even twice a day.
4. I need a nap after one store and there is no way in the world you will get me to take them all into any other place. ONE store is all we get.
5.Stores are places of torture full of things my kids are going to ask for.
6. The clerks look at me with pity and probably talk about me with their families when they go home.
7. Buggies are now hopefully containment units for toddlers. Sometimes they are just used as a threat to make a toddler drop the bag of chips they are holding.
8. I look at other people with screaming children with understatement and realize they are looking back at me with the same understatement. Parenting… it’s a bonding experience with strangers.
9. I have no idea what I will find while emptying the buggy at the check out line…. It’s usually junk food that finds it’s way past my watchful mommy eyes.
10. I avoid shopping till we open the cabinets and are forced to either eat the can of Spaghetti Os that have been there since we moved in or starve…