I know I seem to change logos on a weekly basis but I am trying to find the ONE that I can stand to look at everyday. I don’t know if this is an upward direction or even what I am looking for but I know I need to keep trying.
I often wonder what direction I am taking. I don’t know why all this matters so much to me. The numbers, the page views, the stats… It’s all so pointless but everyday I check them. Every day I wonder how I measure up to everyone else and when we start comparing ourselves is when we start to fail because we will never be as good as we see someone else to be. We all have faults but we can see our own faster than we can in someone else.
Why shouldn’t we compare ourselves to others?
When we start to compare we start to force ourselves into seeing our flaws for more than just differences of talents. We all have talents that lay in different places and to compare my lack of talent in one place that someone else has that talent is fruitless and will only lead to me feeling sorry for myself. We all have flaws as well. Our flaws help to make us who we are. We should embrace our downs.
Truth of the matter is I suck at social media. I do. I’m horrible. I’ve been blogging nearly a year and just now started to use hootsuite. I am the worst social blogger ever. I try, I really do. I want to be a good blogger. I want to be friendly and share all my friend’s stuff but I usually forget or run out of time or just can’t get into the social spirit.
I’m not a very good photographer. I like to think I am but I can’t ever compare to the real photographers. I can’t even hold a camera flame to most photographers out there. I’m only mediocre.
I don’t have a pleasing writing style. I have been told that my writing style isn’t great or even good. I’m not humorous. That’s fine, I can’t change who I am. I just know that I can’t compare to some people who just have a way with words. That isn’t me. I don’t have it. I’ve always been the straight girl to my comedian brother, I just have a dead pan humor… It’s who I am.
Don’t even get me started on my lack of ability to clean house…. Sometimes our flaws are just flaws.
Those are not my skill set and I shouldn’t dwell on the fact that I will not measure up in those areas.
We should look at our talents instead of what we may not be the best at.
We should all be proud of what we are good at and not dwell on the negatives.
I can make my own sewing and crochet patterns. I am good at creating learning activities for the kids. I can do graphic art passably. I can draw. My kids are clean, fed, happy, and polite.
If I am always trying to be as good as this person over here I will never be as good as me.
Comparing myself to others is only going to keep me from obtaining my own goals.
What are my goals?
I want to let the number game go. I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter but it is always there in the back of my head.
I want to blog for myself. I want to be myself. I want to do this for me.
ME ME ME!
I don’t want the blog to cut into any of my family time. These days go by so fast and I don’t want to miss them.
My goal for the blog is for the blog to be what the blog will be. I’m not pushing. I am not chasing something I shouldn’t.
To Achieve our Goals We have to Know our Strengths as well as our Weaknesses.
I’m not capable of running a big blog. I know it in my head. I can’t keep up.
Yet, I can’t help the ever growing desire to grow this blog into something bigger than I can handle. I can’t help but wonder what if I could do this in my head but deep in my heart I know I don’t want it.
I am not capable of expending the amount of time it takes to become a well known blogger.
I don’t have the personality it takes to be up high on the shelf.
I’m just a mother who enjoys writing, photography, crafting, and showing off her kids. That is what I am and I am not going to sacrifice my kid time to try to be something I am not. I’m not a publicity seeker. I don’t care about fame or wanting to be on television. I don’t want to be interviewed but anyone. I am not special.
There are a million and one moms just like me who have more time than I, who are smarter than I, and who want it more than I. Let them have the fame. Let me have my little blog that I can change my logo every time the whim hits.
Let me sit here and talk to my future self and my kids. Writing my memories down for them to read, fresh from the brain of mom.
(That would be a good blog title… Fresh from the Brain of Mom… I have one that I’m thinking of changing to when this one expires to more encompass my ever growing repertoire of topics but I’m not sharing just yet.)
One day I will be a different person as we all change as we age, I will not be this care free go with the flow yet often stressed out mother I am now. I want them to know that mother. That mother who loves them with every fiber of her being. That mother who prays for them daily. I want them to see how much she believed in them and wanted them to have a wonderful life. When I am old and can no longer remember their names, I want them to know that I do and always will love them.