I have long known that I was not like the other females around me. I have never been the normal girly girl who wore make up and had actual fashion skills. In fact I lived in a t shirt and jeans most of my early years. I always assumed it was because I was an old spirit in a young body, mature for my age because I loved to crochet, sew, and make things. I think all along I was just hiding my inner geek and not wanting to admit my total nerdiness.
I am an uber nerd and it appears I have always been. I mean I am a comic book reading, game playing, super hero loving, tech smart, Ghost-buster shirt wearing, in a class of my own super geek.
When did this become painfully obvious and unable to deny?
There were several incidents that brought the fact to light and as I age it is getting harder to hide.
First of all recently I went to a church function at my co worker’s church. Someone had made a huge Tardis decoration and I went all geek eyed. I had to know who made it! After I asked the people around me, no one seemed to know what it even was or who put it there. “Oh you mean the telephone booth? Isn’t it supposed to be red?” Yep, that was the answer I got. There I was standing in a room and someone in that room was just like me, out of place and misunderstood and probably wishing just as bad as I was to be at home watching Dr. Who instead of standing in a crowd of people. I desperately wanted to find them and say, “I know what you are going through, let’s be friends. Can I have the Tardis when this is all over?”
Then there was the trip to the video game store when I realized I may be an uber geek but there are worse offenders in the nerd world. I took my brother and son to look at video games, secretly I wanted to look too but I haven’t came out of the geek protection program yet. I found myself surrounded by a new breed of men and I’m not sure if I was scared out of my wits or slightly jealous of their ability to be so open about their obsessions. Then there was the guy who has a gold ds strapped to his leg in a holster…. I found myself intrigued… That was when I realized I was watching these guys like a person would watch the discovery channel or animal planet. I had to avert my eyes to keep from people watching to the point of stalker level.
My son purchased a few games, I stuck in a Fable RPG game because he uh needed it, yep it was for him completely and 100%. I convinced him he would like it by telling him that the character can poot in the other peoples faces, yes that is actually in the game and yes he did go around pooting in everyone’s face. I then told him I had to test the game to make sure it was appropriate for him to play and after 7 hours of testing, three mountain dews, and a little disappointment later , I did eventually let him play “his” game.
I am highly prone to obsessive behavior so I can not say anything about obsessive gamers. It runs in my family genetic pool. My family has a history of being obsessed about different things. I am a descendant of two families that used this obsessive behavior to fuel their hatred and do a mighty fine job of trying to eradicate each other… One day I may find the courage to admit where I come from and to write about my family history but if you really want to know about it, they made a mini series recently about it.
It is in my genetic make up to get very serious about my obsessions. At the moment that obsession is blogging. I find that everything I look at now has a,”Can I blog about this?” point of view. From funny things the kids say to experiences in everyday life. I find that I have a hard time concentrating on boring or tedious tasks because I’m sitting there thinking about what my next post will be about or how some things I used to enjoy have become boring and tedious. I even caught myself thinking about a post topic in CHURCH of all places. So I have made a promise to myself to try to take it down a notch and find a groove. I have tried to unplug my obsessive behavior for a few hours a day and relax. It isn’t working since I’m sitting here at 3 in the morning on my blog writing about trying to not be on my blog as much but what else is there to do at 3 in the morning?
I think I kind of switched topic there because I was talking about my uber geekdom and then somehow I was talking about my OCD. Those two are not one and the same. Not all OCD people are geeks and not all geeks are OCD, although the latter is more common. I just happen to be both with a great big helping of social anxiety and fear of crowded places which also happens to be more common in my nerd world.
I know who I am, I’m not ashamed of the fact that I can name every Power Ranger series or that I know nearly all the names of the Pokemon characters. I am quite proud of the face I could take my computer apart and put it back together or that strangers call and ask me for computer advice because so and so told them I knew what I was doing. And I would challenge any of you to a round of Neo Geo arcade Street Fighter because I am an undefeated random button pusher. I will embrace my movie trivia knowledge and use it to give out unwarranted advice based on 70’s and 80’s cult classic movies. I will embrace my quirks with a fist thrust into the air and come out of the shadows into the Geeky light!
Are you ready to join me and embrace a part of you that you have been hiding?